“I felt welcomed and appreciated for who I was”

The people who try to diminish your identity do not get the final say on who you’re allowed to be. The cruel words of a few people will never outweigh the love, support, and acceptance of a supporting and inclusive community.

 

Three years ago, in Grade 7, I decided to take some thought into my personality and my sexual orientation. I took the time to sit down with my parents and I explained that I didn’t feel any attraction to girls, and I ended up coming out as gay to both of them.

 

Luckily, I was fortunate to have parents and close friends who were incredibly supportive and viewed me no differently. But after I told a few of my friends about it, that information eventually reached people who sought to use it against me and gave them a new form of ammunition to use on me. Throughout that year, I was targeted with hateful language and called names meant to make fun of my identity, which left me feeling isolated and as though I didn't belong.

 

This highly affected my mental health and well-being, and I started to doubt myself and my friends. So when I arrived at Shawnigan in Grade 8, I carried those fears with me, unsure of how the community and my peers would treat me. I was carefully monitoring the way I acted, what I said, and how I spoke to hide my identity and avoid ridicule, because I still thought that I would be isolated and bullied for it. But when I decided to tell a few of my friends about myself, most of them were accepting and I wasn’t treated much differently. I felt a sense of hope that I could go through the year smoothly.

 

That was until two of those in my House began making hurtful remarks towards me. But something shifted between the last time I had experienced discrimination. I didn’t feel down or discouraged like I did the year prior. Instead, I felt strong. I realized that their negativity was not worth my time or my spirit. I felt a newfound sense of confidence, choosing to embrace who I am and seek out those who offer genuine acceptance, regardless of my identity. For the first time, I felt welcomed and appreciated for who I was and not judged based on a fact about me. I’d like to think that because I had the support of those who actually cared about me, I didn’t feel hurt by those who didn’t.

 

I recognize that everyone’s journey is different; it is often difficult for people to feel comfortable expressing their true identities, and that is completely valid. In our society today, bullying based on sexual orientation and because of one’s identity remains a significant issue for many, often leaving those who are closeted to feel afraid to be themselves. From the stories shared by the news, or cyberbullying from someone behind a screen, people see the negative reactions that others give to the queer community and feel frightened. Nobody should ever feel like they need to hide their identity or feel threatened to stay quiet in fear of being ridiculed.

 

I’m not saying that everyone should come out; at the end of the day, it's their choice and only their choice. But if somebody wants to come out, there shouldn’t be any issues with it.

 

But even with all this that I’ve just mentioned, I believe Shawnigan is different, because I know there will always be someone here to offer me support no matter what. After all, that’s exactly why I am standing here today. That's the whole reason I felt confident enough to speak to you all about my experiences, is because I’m confident that I won't be treated any differently here in the slightest. It doesn't matter if you’re gay, bisexual, transgender, non-binary, or at all part of the LGBTQIA+ community.

 

If I can give any of you here any words of encouragement, it's this: the people who try to diminish your identity do not get the final say on who you’re allowed to be. The cruel words of a few people will never outweigh the love, support, and acceptance of a supporting and inclusive community.

 
Maddex King is a Grade 10 student at Shawnigan Lake School.