‘What Can I Learn?’ – Sharing with Courage and Listening with Compassion

Expressing our ideas and opinions takes courage. When I was first asked to speak today, my initial reaction was, “thank you, but no thank you.” Public speaking is not my cup of tea. But then I thought about all of my students, past and present, and how every time we engage in class discussions, I ask them to have courage to share their ideas. So, it would be pretty hypocritical of me to “take a pass” on an opportunity to talk about uncomfortable conversations when I constantly force my students to have them! It takes courage to share our ideas. It takes even more courage to share our ideas about “uncomfortable” topics or share ideas that may not align with popular opinion. Dr. John Zimmerman reminded us of this during his recent lecture about free speech. It takes courage to wear a black arm band to your middle school. It takes courage to deliver a speech about a dream at the Lincoln Memorial. It takes courage to contribute to the conversation, let alone share an unpopular view, during a Harkness discussion in your social studies class at Shawnigan.

 

I recently attended a workshop about civil discourse at an ISABC Professional Development conference. Jason McBride, Head of Pearson College, facilitated the session titled, "Building Anti-Polzarization Skills to Support Others," which explored how educators can help facilitate conversations about contentious topics within our classrooms. This workshop, alongside a sermon delivered by Bishop Anna Greenwood-Lee, who spoke to us on International Women's Day about the controversial figure of Mary, Mother of Jesus of Nazareth, as well as Dr. Zimmerman's address about censorship and free speech, provided me with a lot of "food for thought." 

 

So how do we react to an uncomfortable or an unpopular opinion when it is shared with us? I regret to admit that I need to remind myself to suspend my own initial judgments when someone makes a statement or expresses a view that does not necessarily align with my own understanding or values. But if we want to live in a community where we encourage diversity of ideas and opinions, we need to receive those ideas with curiosity. We need to ask questions that will help us better understand the ideas or viewpoint someone has shared with us. This means we need to be open to having “conversations.” In a conversation you ask questions. You suspend your need to debate or discredit or defame. Instead, you ask, "what can I learn?" On Thursday, I asked my Grade 10s to share their ideas about Dr. Zimmerman’s presentation and whether they believed that free speech should have limitations. We talked for almost an hour. We had a lot of questions for each other, and by the end, we had more questions than answers. Complex issues don’t have simple answers. And conversations don’t have winners or losers. When was the last time you won a conversation?

 

Have courage to share your convictions. Be curious in your conversations. And when you share your ideas, or when you listen to others, treat each other with compassion. Even though a “courageous conversation” asks us to suspend judgement, evaluate our own ideas, and reconsider our position, these conversations are not, and should not, be immune to critique. It is okay to critique ideas. It is not okay to attack the person expressing the ideas. Conversations, whether comfortable or uncomfortable, should be respectful. To foster and nurture a community that encourages diversity of expression, the words we use, and the tone in which we express them, require kindness. If we can be anything, let us be kind.

 

I am extremely grateful for what I learn from my students every day, and I want to thank them for sharing their courage, curiosity, and kindness in our classes. Huy ch q'u siem.