SOGI’s Promise to Shawnigan Students
June is Pride Month in most of Canada (some jurisdictions celebrate at other times of the year), and Shawnigan marked Pride Week in the first week of June, with several events, including a special Chapel Service with the theme of Belonging. Ms. Erica Hanson was one of the speakers, with a message that included contributions from a pair of students.
For nearly a decade, Ms. Gemma Atkinson and I have worked alongside some seriously courageous and brave students. These students and their voices have been integral in helping shape Shawnigan’s SOGI group. The acronym SOGI stands for Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity. The term reminds us that everyone – every single one of us – has a sexual orientation and a gender identity. But more than just a definition, SOGI sends a message: “you belong here.”
That sense of belonging – the feeling we get when we’re seen, heard, and accepted – is rooted in safety. And safety is what’s often missing for members of the 2SLGBTQIA+ community. We needed our students and our staff to know that no matter their sexual orientation or gender identity, they are safe – and they belong. That need for safety is something we all understand, whether we identify as 2SLGBTQIA+ or not. We’ve all been in situations where we’ve felt pressure to hide or change who we are. How often have we all heard the advice to “just be yourself” – like it was so easy to do. But what we’re often really hearing is, “Be yourself… until it makes someone else uncomfortable.” So, what do we do? We change – just a little. We buy the sneakers we don’t like. We tweak our accents. We “forget” to say where we’re really from. We hide parts of ourselves.
I follow an American writer/comedian/performer named ALOK. They were being interviewed just a few short weeks ago when I heard their words, and I had to write them down: “Conformity requires us to minimize our differences for the greater good. We fear that if we don't conform, we will be abandoned, but there is no loneliness like having people only see you after you've erased yourself.”
Whether you identify as part of the 2SLGBTQIA+ community or not, having a group like SOGI matters not just as a group, but as a promise – a promise that no one here should ever feel the need to erase themselves to belong.
A couple of weeks ago, we asked for your own stories. I want to thank those who shared their story with us. I would like to share two of them now.
Student No.1
“Sometimes, when everyone expects you to be one way, it's hard to realize that you present as another. I've been through many shifts in my sexuality, and I was told that it was not allowed – that I had to stick to one. But being a teenager is the epitome of figuring yourself out. You are allowed to change and shift – to try new things and find out if they're right for you. It's normal, healthy even. So, if the world is telling you that you're bisexual or lesbian or gay or asexual, take a moment to look inward. See what's right for you, not anyone else.”
Student No. 2
“I am a cis female who has lived my entire life in a very open community when it came to different sexual orientations and romantic preferences. I always thought that wherever I went, I would be accepted for who I was. I thought people wouldn’t really care or mind whether I like girls or guys.
“This is my first year at Shawnigan, and I have been met with support and a peaceful indifference when people hear about the fact that I feel the same way about both girls and guys. But it wasn’t always like that. At my old high school, people would avoid talking to you if you wore a pride pin. Walking to class was impossible without hearing casual slurs. Most people didn’t care who you dated or hung around, but they wouldn’t hesitate to laugh along when one of their friends would make a snide remark. Less than a month after attending high school, I took off any pins or stickers of any kind from my bag or clothes that could imply I was anything but straight. Yet I continued to hear their remarks.
“I believed for a long time that something was wrong with me, and I started telling my LGBTQ friends that it would make all of our lives easier if they stopped being open about themselves. I started distancing myself from my original group of friends and started becoming part of the problem. I stood by and giggled and watched as people I used to be so close with would get talked about and shamed behind their backs
“Coming to BC and Shawnigan was a very eye-opening experience. I’m able to be open about my identity and past relationships with friends and not face judgment. I don’t need to worry about those group kids while walking to English class anymore, and I was assured by those around me that nothing was wrong with me, and that I didn’t have to hide such a big part of my life. I may never be able to reignite the friendships I cut off at my old school, but I’ve learned a lot since coming here and will continue to try to grow as a member of the community.”
Thank you, to both of these students who shared their stories. Let’s all make that promise to help make each of the spaces we share a safe place for everyone.
Ms. Erica Hanson is a science teacher and the Deputy Safe School Coordinator at Shawnigan Lake School.
We acknowledge with respect the Coast Salish Peoples on whose traditional lands and waterways we live, learn and play. We are grateful for the opportunity to share in this beautiful region, and we aspire to healthy and respectful relationships with those who have lived on and cared for these lands for millennia.
Shawnigan Lake School is an independent co-educational boarding school for ages 13 –18 on Canada’s beautiful Pacific Coast. Our diverse, interdisciplinary and innovative programming helps shape the next generation of global leaders.
