Be Yourself – Radically

What if I told you that there was a way to be happy which you could implement in the next three minutes? I’ve experienced happiness many times in my life, as I hope you have too. One thing that every time I was truly happy – not faking for someone else – have had in common is that I was true to myself. I believe that happiness is innate. It can only be created by you. While it can be shared with others, ultimately, happiness is impossible without being true to oneself. I believe that happiness comes from the ability to reject other’s standards and embrace one’s own unique identity.

 

A few short weekends ago, we all had the privilege of attending Grad in Whistler. Leading up to Grad, I had a choice. Option 1 was to simply conform, to wear a suit and party like everyone else. Option 2 was to radically be myself: to wear a suit-skirt-mohawk combo, to have fun, but also go to bed at a relatively normal time. As many of you know, I chose option No. 2. In some ways, it was the easiest decision of my life. In others, it was actually the hardest. 

 

Less than a month from today, we will be walking out of these gates, and we will be alumni. At this point, if I embarrass myself, most of you are going to forget about me by September. On the other hand, it’s my last month of high school, and all the conforming kids seem to be having a great time; shouldn’t I join in on that? Well, I learned a little something that weekend. The conforming kids – those who make every choice based on someone else – they’re not actually having a great time. Sure, they want you to think they are. But isn’t that the whole point? Their so-called happiness is in fact an illusion, designed to make you and I think we aren’t good enough for having problems. What we don’t see is that even when they smile, they’re still snarky. Even when they laugh, they’re wondering whether they’re being judged. Even when they make new friends, they wonder whether it's because of them, or because of their persona. But there’s one simple trick to bypass this completely: STOP CARING. Crazy, right? Okay, I take that back, you can care, but you should learn to override that part of your brain. I believe that you’ll never be happy if you’re always watching your back, always portraying yourself as someone you’re not. And even if that’s something you only do sometimes, you’re still missing out on happiness. Yes, less than people who have a constant persona, but no, not less than those who are unapologetically themselves. 

 

No matter what you use to hide your true self: costumes, haircuts, friends, substances, or more, you’ll never be as happy as you could be without it all. I believe that once you embrace the judgement, you realize that the people who judge you are the ones suffering most; the ones who conform to feel worthy. I believe that there can be moments of happiness when you conform, but you’ll never have a happy life without radically being yourself.