Essential Alumni

 

Q: What changes have you had to make in your working life?

A: As a mental health practitioner, changes to my working life include not seeing clients in person in my office space and, as an essential service worker, I had to quickly adapt my practice to offer tele-health options, including phone and online video sessions through encrypted platforms to ensure continuity of care. That was a quick change that I had to make, but with amazing Canadian technology available such as the Vancouver-based Jane App, I was able to make the change quickly while following Canadian privacy laws.

 

Q: How do these changes affect your daily routine?

A: I am no longer commuting to and from work, which in my previous routine was a time for me to focus and prepare for the work day ahead, and on the way home I could decompress and prepare for reengaging with my family at home. With home and work being more integrated, I have developed new routines while maintaining some of my old routines, such as dressing in professional attire for work and surrounding myself with items from my office space. This forced change to move my practice online has also created some positive changes, as seeing clients online allows both me and my clients to not be limited by geographical location.

 

Q: How do these changes affect your family?

A: With our family of four all working from home, there have been significant changes to all of our daily routines. Although we are all adjusting well overall, some days are harder than others. Having our eldest daughter Lauren (age 13) home from Shawnigan, along with our son Maxwell (age 12) home from school, it takes a lot of patience, communication and understanding to negotiate how we work through each day supporting each other. Talking about work schedules and what our needs are in advance of the day ahead has helped us work well together at home.

 

Q: Do you feel especially vulnerable? More so during the pandemic?

A: Although I am an essential mental health worker, my work does not require me to support clients in person, so my physical health during this pandemic is not a risk in my position, but I recognize the importance of maintaining my own mental health in order to support my clients’ mental health. As a mental health worker, I too am vulnerable to the impacts of these stressful and difficult times, which offers me the opportunity to deepen my own personal mental health practices and challenges me in new ways.

 

Q: What kind of health and wellness routines do you follow to keep you feeling well?

A: As a positive psychotherapist, I tap into the science of happiness and well-being to support my routine. This includes getting outside in nature, connecting with those whom I care about daily, including myself, and taking part in activities that offer engagement, self-expression and enjoyment, and best of all, laughter. We prepare meals that are healthy (and some that are not), and are mindful that we were all able to be fed that day. Most of all, it’s important to not get caught up in the social comparison of whose COVID isolating is better than the rest.

 

Q: Do you do something different for your own emotional health?

A: When working with clients, I orient my work towards client strengths and values, supporting clients to connect with what is most meaningful to them even in the midst of suffering; the focus is on a well-lived life rather than simply attempting to minimize pain or reduce suffering. So I acknowledge the struggle, pain and loss I am experiencing and take daily actions that align with my values and strengths. I have chosen to change how I define success, so today if I was able have a connected conversation and learn something new about my daughter, well, that was a successful day, even if the laundry is piling up and the kitchen sink is full of dirty dishes – it was still a successful day.

 

Q: What are your top tips for friends and family to move safely through this period of time?

A: Safety is not just about physical safety, it is also about psychological safety. When we don't feel safe, our mind shifts to a limbic regressive state where our fight-flight-freeze reactions take over and can lead us to act in ways we may not choose when we feel safe. Recognize when you or others are in this mental state and seek to calm yourself or others down. Some suggestions could be going for a walk, and getting out of your mind and into the present moment by connecting with your breath and the things around you through your five senses—notice 5 things you can see, 4 things you can physically feel, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell and 1 thing you can taste. Often our sense of threat comes from the “what ifs” in our mind, and we begin to imagine the worst-case scenarios. Know that human brain development has naturally wired our mind to look for the threat, as an awareness of threat has helped keep us alive for thousands of years. The SCARF model identifies psychological threats including status, certainty, autonomy, relatedness and fairness, and in these challenging times many of us are experiencing threats in a number of these areas. Although our mind wants to focus on the threats, and it can be beneficial to do so for a period of time, we also have the ability to direct our attention, thank our mind for bringing awareness to the possible threat and then refocus on actions that are in alignment with our values and choose ways of living and being in the world that are important and meaningful. Recognizing that many things are outside of our control right now, we can choose how we want to show up in each moment.

 

Q: Can you look back at your Shawnigan career and point to a program or teacher who inspired/taught you and helped you become the person you are now?

A: There are so many people who supported me and influenced me at Shawnigan, but overall what I remember is the warmth from both staff and students. It's in the small stuff, like a smile when walking past, eye contact that showed me I was seen, a kind word of encouragement to show me I was supported and accepted. And, oh, how I loved the beautiful grounds and being surrounded by nature; it soothes the soul.

 

As I reflect on this question, I recognize that many students are missing those small things about being on campus right now, along with those big milestones, and that this can create a deep sense of loss. It can be helpful to name those big and small losses and to give yourself permission to grieve these losses. The pain of loss is in relation to the amount we care, and caring for things deeply is something to be proud of. Know that we are all grieving with you and want to support you, so reach out to the School counselling services to share your feelings and experiences, as I know they want to be there for you to support you through these challenging times. You are not alone. Reach out. You deserve to be heard and supported.

 

Q: How can we support essential workers at this time?

A: Supporting essential workers can be done in so many ways and many individuals, groups and businesses are already taking action to show support. It takes more than a thought; it takes action. Whether it's staying home or sharing a warm smile and saying thank you to the bus driver, grocery clerk, the nurse in your neighbourhood, the contractor who continues to do road repairs and so much more. Whether it's banging pots and pans, making a sign or just staying home, your support is appreciated.

 

Q: Do you know of any of your Shawnigan friends or contacts who are also on the frontline at this time? Have you been able to connect with them and offer mutual support?

A: My sister Kelly (Jellema) McBride is an alumna and nurse practitioner who has been working on the front lines in Ottawa and who inspires me with her selfless care and drive to help – we reach out and support each other. I have also received supportive texts from past Shawnigan friends offering encouragement and just a quick "I'm thinking of you" note, and this builds a sense of belonging, connection and community which is much needed and appreciated at this time.